Have you ever wondered how our words and reactions shape a child’s self-esteem? When we scold or impose consequences, it creates a power dynamic where the child feels small and powerless. A 10 year old shared that he feels disrespected and scared that the adult may take away his privileges. Children internalize the fear of authorities which results in low self-esteem and a submissive personality.
Feeling powerful is an innate need. Children who grow up fearing adults and punishment often imbibe a sense of powerlessness. In an attempt to regain control, some may bully their peers, using dominance as a way to reclaim the strength which they don’t feel at home, leading to imbalanced social development.
Instead, what if we set clear norms together, creating an environment of respect and shared responsibility? This builds their confidence and sense of equality, helping them grow into self-regulated, empowered individuals.
That is why, at Ekya, we believe in drawing up a social contract between children and adults in the environment. We reflect together on ‘how we would like to be treated by each other’, and arrive at a mutually agreed set of consequences. Children may go through the discomfort of taking up a consequence, however, the narrative is – ‘I made a wrong choice so I take up the consequence because we agreed to do so.’ That is Awareness and with practice it makes them self-managed individuals. We hope to raise a generation of individuals who realize that, in reality, Power lies in controlling self and not others! By nurturing this mindset, we wish to contribute to a future where power is balanced, and individuals collaborate respectfully, shaping a more harmonious world.
– Ms Moitreyee Bose – Academic Coordinator, Ekya BTM Layout
